The problem of overcoming, excess consumption concerns the colors of our lives – children. Living in abundance, our children involuntarily get a lot of superfluous. And sometimes we even organize a separate abundance for the child, if we ourselves have to refuse. And we hope that such care will benefit him. But this is not indisputable.
A funny argument is put forward by those who are afraid to have children-and suddenly my child will miss something? Well, it’s good that it will. This is more great for the psyche than redundancy.
After all, education can be compared with fermentation of young grape wine, if anyone saw the process: a huge amount of some dirty foam rises to the surface from the depths of a completely clean natural drink. It is carefully removed until it grows up real adult wine. From which it is only taken?
If the child is planted on the needle of superiority from childhood – he does not know anything, he is used to getting joy only from new purchases – then he may have the impression that life is in an atmosphere of luxury and is a prerequisite, or even the only condition for joy. So you can form dependence on artificial needs with your own hands. Often this is a convenient way to pay off from the emotional needs of children, to overcome the feeling of guilt that parents, for example, work a lot and can spend little time with a family circle.
Voluntarily or involuntarily, but over time, dependence is created not only on excesses, but also on parents, as a source that provides consumption. And many wealthy people are sitting on another sweet needle – the consciousness of their power. Demonstrations of power. Including the authorities over children. That’s why children of wealthy parents are harder to gain independence, to separate, since the usual standard of living on their own, they do not have the opportunity.
In such families, generations are not built by real human relationships, but the relationship of dependence through consumption objects and an imposed standard of living. Parents at times involuntarily strengthen such addiction – of course, out of best motives. For example, dad gave his son an expensive car. After a couple of days, he sees a woman in a car with his son, who seemed to his father an unworthy son and the parent peremptorily demands to stop relations. When the son refuses, the father “for educational purposes” takes the car. The son tries to protest, talk about his feelings. Father blocks his credit card. Ultimately, the son refuses the girl. Father is satisfied. He unconsciously wants to see his son not responsible, decisive, able to stand up for himself, but dependent, weak, dishonest.
Parents as a fire are afraid of dependencies on drugs, alcohol, on slot machines, but for some reason they almost purposefully form dependence on excessive consumption, which is equally destructive for individuality.
As a result, many rich heirs are simply unable to choose a life path, focusing on their own interests and abilities. Their orientation is a material standard of living. But often necessary for the successful business of the independence of character, they do not have. And due to only focused on the consumption of education, they are doomed to weave in the tail of parental achievements.
It is fashionable to admire the Japanese now. And there is something. Samurai calm is precisely caused by a clear system of values, thought out and meaningful to the smallest detail. Whether we pay sufficient attention to this? About feelings, thoughts, affection, doubts, and not about new toys, you need to talk with children more often.